After a couple of days--sometimes only a couple of hours--that claim would be out the door and we would experience feelings of guilt, shame, and failure. Why can't I overcome this? What is going on with me? Am I truly Saved? Is this all for real? These are some of the questions I used to ask myself.
Some key elements are usually missing when we stumble often. For one thing, we try to solve the problem all alone. Our arrogance keeps us from looking to YAH. Our shame keeps us from reaching out to HIS Own, our brethren. Our pride makes us unwilling to take direction from anyone. We remain alone and "in charge", but, alone, we absolutely cannot make the transition to Holiness.
It's not that we don’t try. And it’s not that I didn’t try, but I kept attempting to do all the right things on the outside, while hanging on to the past with its hurts and even it's pleasures on the inside and I would even use those things to justify my behavior.
The real problem was that I was unwilling to die to self. I hung on to my own independence. I kept telling myself, "I don't need anybody! I'm better than others I know. I can do this! I got this! I am strong enough to handle this!"
The Truth is that all my sin was inside. It made me feel powerful and in control and it fed my arrogance.
I finally came to know YESHUA, JESUS The CHRIST, through HIS Gospels and The Scriptures, and surrendered my "freedom" to be truly Free. I learned that when the devil attacks, it is not I who fights the battle, but my LORD, my GOD, Almighty YAHWEH, fights it for me!
I have surrendered unconditionally to HIM by being Filled with HIS HOLY GHOST, being buried with HIM in baptism and even in surrendering to HIM, knowing that I must die to self and recognize who I am, what I am, WHO dwells within me and The Power I truly have to bind those dark spirits in if only I would recognize and exercise that Power!!
I Praise YOU, YAHWEH, for giving YOUR Only Begotten Son a ransom. I Praise YOU for breaking the power of my sin at The Cross. I Praise YOU for opening my eyes to the Truth. Please LORD, keep me by YOUR Power Alone. I Pray in The Mighty, Powerful and Precious Name of YOUR Son, YESHUA, JESUS The CHRIST. Amen.
Reading Revelation 3:14-22