As my relationship with The One, True, Living GOD blossomed, and my Faith grew, I realized this was going to be a slower process than I'd thought. I had so much to learn... and still do! I've not "arrived"... none of us have.
I had never realized that I had a problem with pornography in my past, but I had to recognize its power in my life to see it as a way the devil could trick me and lure me right into sin with lust, fantasy, temptation, and even physical sexual sin. I only had to look at one perverted image. Then I would start sexualizing others and thinking of them as objects to be lusted after, and eventually, I'd go ever further. I begin thinking of horrible things, deep and dark sexual things that disgust me!
YAHWEH, GOD Almighty, is at work in my life, but I have to be also. I was waiting, for 11 years, to be Free, totally and utterly Free from something without even understanding what it truly was, and that is where I’ve been off track.
There are some things that we will not be totally Free from. We keep seeking Freedom from things that we are told are sinful, a part of our old fallen nature, strongholds or “thorns in our flesh” while HIS Word commands us to Trust HIM and to Obey HIM!
If we would just read, study, and absorb it as HIS Holy Spirit reveals it to us, then we would understand that we too have been deceived by those who have been misled themselves. Then we recognize that we may be attempting to deny our design thinking that we are denying self. HIS Grace really is sufficient!
Something that has been on my heart lately, especially after dealing with some attacks and “thorns” is that many of us want to take our issues to the altar and be done with them. Well, sometimes, your "issues" aren't "issues" at all.
When I was saved I grouped my homosexuality in with all of the other wickedness that the lgbTQia+ rainbow cult represents, promotes and celebrates. And when I did that, I denied my own design and tried to believe what The Church was telling me about homosexuality being sin and an abomination. In this process I began looking more in-depth at HIS Word.
I found that same-sex attraction and same-sex relationships were never condemned in Scripture. Never! Yes, there were some passages that specified some same-sex sex acts that were condemned but there were also some opposite-sex sex acts that were condemned as well. That alone told me that same-sex attraction wasn't as taboo as folks make it out to be.
The Word, in context, revealed to me that being same-sex attracted is just the way some people are. It is their design. That Living Word also revealed to me that being opposite-sex attracted is just the way some people are as well. It is just their design.
We can be healed of oppression, possession, sickness, and our old sinful nature can be washed away. We will also be faced with temptation, persecution, struggle and opposition. We just will. There is no way around the fact that we will be tempted and attacked spiritually, mentally, sexually, emotionally and physically even.
What makes us think that we should not be comparing ourselves to all of the men and women of GOD in Scripture? Paul said, “I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for The Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.” (2 Cor. 12:10).
What makes us any different from Paul? Why would we be free from persecution? Why would we be free from all temptation, struggle and opposition while all through the Scriptures HIS People, that were called by HIS Name, suffered these things? Should we not be Joyful with the struggles that we have because we do know how to control them….. by walking “in The SPIRIT.” (Gal. 5:16).
As a man that is same-sex attracted I have the same struggles as a man that is opposite sex attracted. I have to face the same visual struggles with lust as any other man, or woman! I have to know when to turn my head and take the thoughts captive, and surrender them to GOD Almighty, to avoid the sin of lust. Just like anyone else!
I had to recognize that if I struggle it doesn't mean that I've failed or even that I've sinned. Temptation does not a sin make! I have the power and authority to deny the enemy, so that he will flee from me! I also had to recognize what was temptation/struggle and what was just a part of my design. I had to pay more attention to HIM and less attention to those who were "cheering me on".
The problem is that many of us think that if we surrender to GOD Almighty and walk "in The Spirit" that all of our struggles will go away. Why would we think that? Just because I have embraced my same-sex attraction doesn't mean that I will not struggle with lust, or any other temptation. But that doesn't mean that my design, as a homosexual man, is the struggle or sin. Because it is not.
But when it comes to the attacks, struggles, temptations... can I suggest that we stop focusing on getting rid of those things, and that we learn how to own them! You see, it is only if we walk in The SPIRIT that we have the Strength to control temptations. We “cannot do the things that we would” if we allow The Holy Spirit to guide us and lead us in all that we do.
When temptation and struggle comes, and it is gonna come, then we can be safe, content and secure knowing that we will struggle but that we don’t have to struggle with the struggle because we have a Power within us that can bare those burdens and grant us Strength in our weakness to press through, push through, pray through, get through and Breakthrough!!! HalleluYAH! Make no mistakes, we will suffer, but oh the pleasures of suffering for HIS Sake!
I have fallen short at times in my walk, but YAHWEH, GOD Almighty, keeps picking me up and setting my feet on firmer and higher ground.
I can see growth in my life which I know has come from HIS Guidance and not from myself. The FATHER has given me the Courage to face, accept and embrace who I truly am as a same-sex attracted man. HE is showing me who HE Created me to be and what my own innate design is; and how to embrace it. Life isn't about me, me, me anymore. It's about dying to self, and coming alive in YESHUA, JESUS The CHRIST, and I'm learning how to live that way.
HE gave me so much Freedom in 2021 that it has strengthened my walk, my Faith and my love for others tremendously. This has also strengthened my desire to get out and do ministry, giving others hope, comfort & peace when it comes to their own struggles... helping them identify what their design is vs the lust of their flesh.
Thank YOU, YAHWEH, FATHER in Heaven, that YOU rescued me at Calvary and are enabling me to enter into that Freedom daily. Please forgive me when I fall short. Please grant that I will never stop walking the path YOU have laid out for me. And please deliver me from sin and self, and teach me to Love in obedience. Thank YOU for the ability to understand my design and for the Strength to embrace that and the Courage to face YOUR Church and the world with this discovery and Truth (regardless of how it is received). And may the Love for others dominate my life from this day forth and forever more. I Love YOU FATHER. I Pray to YOU in The Name of YOUR Son, YESHUA, JESUS The CHRIST. Amen.
Reading Colossians 1:1-14 & Galatians 5…